Big kicks

Dear Avery,
   
      Today was a much better day than yesterday.  It is still dreary outside, but not nearly as rainy.  There is even a chance that the rain will turn into snow tonight.  It's definitely feeling like winter now!

     I felt my first "through the belly" kick last night.  After a day with hardly any movement at all, it was AMAZING!  It has only happened three times since then, so your dad hasn't been able to feel it yet.  I hope that you will keep it up so he can feel you soon. 
   
      My belly is getting bigger and bigger everyday.  You are the size of a cantaloupe now and people definitely know that I am pregnant when they see me.  I love being pregnant with you. 

      Sometimes it is awkward for me when people ask about you because I never know what to tell them.  All of the people who are really close to us already know what is going on, but it can be uncomfortable when other people want to make pregnancy small talk.  I feel obligated to let them know that things aren't perfect, but it is impossible to convey the emotion and reality of what is really going on in a day to day small talk. I usually just leave it at "We are very excited that we are having a little girl.  She has some complications, so please keep her in your prayers."  It's not that I mind sharing your story, but I just never know how or when to do it.  I figure that it can never hurt to ask for some extra prayers though!

     Your dad turned on Christmas music for us tonight and he is working in the basement.  We hope to have it finished by the time you get here.  I think I am going to start decorating the house for Christmas tonight.  That will definitely lift the mood around here. 
 
                                                                         Xoxoxo,
                                                                                  Mom

                                                                   My 20 week belly:

Cold Kentucky Rain

Dear Avery,

     Daddy, Tucker, and I finally made it back from Florida around 7:30 last night.  Our windshield wipers stayed on for the entire trip and the rain hasn't let up yet.  This gloomy weather is kind of getting me down in the dumps.  It was really hard to leave Mimi and Papa's house yesterday morning.  We all cried in the kitchen when it was time to go.  I barely cried at all while we were in Florida.  There is something about he warm Florida sunshine that just cheers you up and gives you hope.  This cold Kentucky rain has got to go!

     Your doctor's office gave us two upcoming appointment cards at your last appointment.  We have left them stacked on the kitchen counter since then.  For some reason, I picked them up to look at them this morning and noticed that one card said our next visit was on the 9th and the other said that it was on the 7th.  We had thought that it would be the 9th all along, because that is the card that was on the top. I immediately called your doctor to see what they had written down, and they had you coming in on the 7th with no other availability all week.  I panicked because Mimi doesn't get in until the night of the 7th, so she would miss your appointment altogether.  The sweet receptionist ended up calling and asking someone to switch with us, so we are going on the 8th now instead--after Mimi is here.  Even though it all worked out in the end, the morning started out with a lot of tears.

     I had a hard time finding your heartbeat today and I was convinced that you were gone.  After what felt like hours of searching, I finally found the familiar "wish-wash" of your little heart.  I am getting more and more paranoid when I do not feel a lot of movement from you. I don't mean to, but my mind always jumps to the worst case scenario.  I don't know what I would ever do if that was a reality.  I pray to God everyday that it will never be a reality.  I need to see you again to know that you are alright.  I am terrified of what else they will tell us and I want so bad to hear that everything is starting to grow how it should.  Please keep growing baby girl!

     I have to take a group of middle schoolers to a conference Thursday through Saturday.  I would normally be excited to do something like this, but I am really sad about leaving your dad for two nights.  We haven't been apart since we learned about your health issues and I don't know how strong I will be without him.  He is the voice of reason to calm me down when I worry too much.  You have a great dad Avery.  He loves us both a lot.

                                                       I love you bunches,
                                                                         Mom

Sleepy Florida Days

Dear Avery,
    Good morning sunshine!  We woke up in Florida again and got to spend time with your Mimi and Papa.  It is going to be hard to go back to louisville tomorrow.  I just checked your heartbeat and it is still sounding strong.  Could you please give me a couple of kicks today?  I get nervous when I haven't felt you in awhile.  (You literally kicked right after I typed that--thanks baby girl!)
 
     We ate a lot of yummy food at Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.  Almost all of your Brunson side was able to make it and it was great to spend time with all of them.  Lela and Wyatt played together and all of the boys played football in the front yard.  It was a beautiful day!  Your great grandpa and I fell asleep together sitting straight up on the couch.  That night, we went to visit Jenni, Stick, and Aunt Tricia.  I learned that a Solo cup filled with water will not melt in a fire pit.  I will show you that trick when you are older (don't try it without me!)

     Your dad and I went shopping with your Mimi and Papa yesterday.  We went out to Baytowne to have lunch and walked up and down the pier.  The water was gorgeous and it was the perfect weather to eat outside.  We went to the outlets after that and then went o Bass Pro so Papa could Christmas shop for himself.  We had to cut it short after that because I fell asleep in the car.  It is becoming a trend that I can't always sleep through the night, but I can fall asleep wherever else I happen to be.  You take a lot out of me little girl (but I wouldn't have it any other way!)

     Your next appointment is December 9th.  It seems so far away because I can't wait to see you again.  I am pretty scared at the same time because I fear any more bad news.  I pray and pray that they will tell us your chest is starting to grow how it is supposed to.  Your Mimi is going to fly up to go to that appointment with us.  I am glad that she is going to be there.

                                                                          With love,
                                                                                   Mom

                                                                             

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Avery,
    
        Today is Thanksgiving Day!  We are all so thankful for you and for the love of our family.  Your dad and I went over to Mallory's this morning to get some pictures with you in my belly.  I can't wait to see them.  Enjoy all of the yummy food today!
                                                             Hugs and Kisses,
                                                                             Mom

Waking up in Florida

Dear Avery,
     Your daddy and I drove through the night and got to Mimi and Papa's house at about 1:30 this morning.  We had time for a couple of big hugs, but then we all agreed that it was time to sleep.  We slept pretty good and stayed in bed until about 6:00 today.  Your dad is still in bed now, and your dog is bouncing back and forth between snuggling with him and checking out everything else that is going on in the house.  He is known to be pretty nosy.  I'm sure you will get plenty of sniffs and licks once we bring you home.
    
      Today is going to be a good day--I already know it.  I woke up in Florida and got to see your Mimi and Papa first thing this morning.  I really miss seeing them when we are away for a long time.  Your Mimi and I sat on the couch and listened to your heartbeat forever when we first got up.  You were moving all over the place in there!  Your heartbeat is still really strong. I feel like we had to chase you all over my tummy to keep up with it.  I love that!

    I am getting hungry, so I know you are too!  Your Mimi made some yummy sausage and egg pie for us to eat.  It smells really yummy!
                                                                I love you angel baby,
                                                                                       Mom

     

The power of prayer

Dear Avery,
They held a special prayer service for you after the kids left school. It was beautiful. It was for you and all the other special intentions of the other teachers who are hurting. I wasn't very strong. I thought I would be able to hold it together, but I wasn't. Sometimes I just break down when I think of how much I love you. I just love you so much.

Luckily, I have great friends at work who were there to hold my hand and give me hugs. Father Don did the annointing of the sick on us. He placed his hand on my belly at the end and I lost it. I know that you are going to be alright. I know that God is going to heal you sweet girl-there are just too many people praying for you for him not to.

My friend Lisa has a miracle baby like you. Her little boy,Adam, beat the odds just like you are going to. She gave your dad and I each a St. Anthony medal and prayer card. He is the Saint of miracles. He is going to help heal you.

Today is a good day despite all of my tears. It is a good day because I am in the car right now with your dad and dog headed to the Florida panhandle. We are going to spend the rest of the week with your Mimi,Papa, Uncle Chris, Aunt Lindsay, Wyatt and all of your other Brunson family. We have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving even though we are hurting. You are what I am the most thankful for. I adore you precious baby!

Keep on kicking,
Mom

Avery, there is hope for your future.

Dear Avery,
    Rachel shared this beautiful scripture with me.  It is today's entry in Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  I have hope for your future sweet baby. 

 "Wonderful Savior, You tell me that there is surely a future hope for me, and my hope will not be cut off (Prov. 23:18). When I hope in You, Lord, I will renew my strength. I will soar on wings like eagles; I will run and not grow weary, I will walk and not be faint ( Isa. 40:31). Lord, help me hear this word as one from You to me: 'So there is hope for your future,' declares the Lord (Jer. 29:17)."
                                                                   I love you so much,
                                                                            Mom