Friday, July 13, 2012

Wisconsin, Florida, and a Beautiful Rainbow

Dear Avery,
       Wow!  It has been a busy summer.  We have been travelling a lot and enjoys lots of sunshine.  You are never far from our hearts and minds, and I love telling people your story.
      Faith's Lodge was AMAZING!!!  I am SO incredibly glad that I was able to talk your dad into going.  He was very apprehensive, but loved every minute we were there.  We met some really amazing people and did a lot of healing.  There were loosely scheduled activities to get everyone together, but they never forced you to do anything. We shared pictures and stories and stayed up late playing games in the great room.  There was a memorial table with all of our babies' pictures set up right when you enter the lodge.  We took trips to the dairy farm, the beach, and to watch music in the park.  It was a beautiful and relaxing weekend!  We made a lot of new friends, so I am sure that you did too.  I want you to have a big play date in heaven with Annabelle, Patricia, Sierra, Sienna, Isaiah, Colin, and Avery.  We really loved all of their parents, so I am sure that they will be a ton of fun too!

     After we left Wisconsin, we headed down to Florida for two whole weeks.  We brought back plenty of cheese curds to share!   I came in town with a bucket list of sorts.  I had a slew of water activities that I wanted to complete on the trip, and I am proud to say that we did them all!  We went to Big Kahunas' Water park, Vortex Springs, and of course the beautiful gulf.  We even took the boat out to Crab Island one day. 

      We headed to Clearwater Beach the second weekend that we were in Florida for my friend Lauren's beautiful wedding.  The weather didn't quite cooperate, but the wedding was perfect none the less.  That weekend proved to be a pretty memorable one for us as well.  We found out that you were going to be a big sister!

      On the morning of Lauren's wedding, I took a pregnancy test in our hotel room and got an incredibly faint positive result.  It was so light that I thought I was inventing the line.  Your dad thought he saw it too, but we both had to stare REALLY hard, so we decided that we would wait until we got a darker result before spilling the beans. I grabbed two more tests from my suitcase as soon as we got back to Mimi and Papa's house on Sunday evening.  This time the pink line was a little bit darker.  I took a digital test because I was still in disbelief, and the word "pregnant" immediately flashed on the screen.  I just left the tests on the bathroom counter for Mimi and Papa to find and went about my business.  Needless to say, they were very excited!

      We are extremely excited and terrified at the same time.  I can't bare the thought of losing another child and it is really hard not to think that way after already burying my first baby.  I fully believe that you are looking out for your little sibling, and that brings me a peaceful feeling.  I associate the number 3 and 13 with you, (You were 13 pounds 13.3 ounces, 13.3 inches long, I got to the hospital at 3:00am, I was 3 cm, it took 3 pushes, I pushed for 13 seconds, etc.) so I was comforted when I found out that this baby would be due in March (03) of 2013.  I also saw two rainbows in the month of June that led me to believe that we would be bringing home a rainbow baby soon.  Please continue to watch over us as we push through this difficult journey of pregnancy after loss.  We love you  and miss you so incredibly much sweet girl.

A rainbow baby is a baby born after the loss of an older child. The beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and cloud. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope.
                                                           I love you princess,
                                                   Aerial view of our camp fire at the lodge
The whole crew at Faith's Lodge
    Heartstones by the Bridge of Hope.  Yours is the purple one with green writing, Annabelle's is pink, and Sierra and Siennas are the other purple ones.
                                             Your little sibling at 6 weeks.
                                                                    6 week belly


  1. I'm an April 2012 mom, but didn't really post on the board too much. I have followed your story, though, and I just want to say how excited I am for you! My thoughts and prayers are with you for a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby!

  2. I found you through TB as well. So happy to hear about your restful and spiritual trip. And Congratulations! Will be praying for you guys.

  3. Many prayers and blessings to you for your pregnancy!

  4. Carey! I am thrilled for you! I have kept up with what is going on with you and your family and I have always kept you in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to do so. I'm sure Avery is very excited to become a big sis and she will be looking out for you and this LO. Please keep us all updated and you know I'm close...if you EVER need a friend or just want to get out of the house please please let me know, I'd love to be there for you. Fingers crossed for your rainbow!!